Therefore, there must be something wrong with me, I better hide that, I better become something different to get my needs, get loved and not get abandoned.” As as we internalize this belief system (of) I caused dad to get angry, I caused mom and dad to fight, or I caused mom to be sad, or I caused them to leave me, it's all unconscious emotional internalization.
And that's what's behind the nice guy syndrome. And with 100% unconsciousness, that's actually happening to us. We all grow up to be teenagers, and adults (are) still doing those things. “Every human being goes through the uncomfortable experiences they have as a child with the survival and defense mechanism of trying to manage and avoid uncomfortable feelings and try to prevent the things that will cause them to happen again, in the future. “We all internalize some beliefs about ourselves in the world, store them up emotionally in that real primitive part of our brain.” And they internalize that they are the cause of it.” “Anything that feels uncomfortable to a child – they're hungry, they don't get fed, they have a dirty diaper, and they don't get changed, a cold, and they don't get held up, or parents are fighting or arguing or there's other traumas or just stressors in the environment, the child internalizes that that could mean death. (01:12:40) Advice for men who've lost connection to their capital "S" self to become more authentic (01:05:21) Advice for parents or potential parents for raising good men and boys (50:02) How men can become better versions of themselves (29:36) Advice for nice guys to become more attractive to other people and more authentic to themselves (08:58) A nice guy's beliefs and identities are rooted in childhood Nice Guy, and has over 30 years experience as a therapist, coach, educator, and public speaker." Robert Glover is the author of No More Mr. He gives practical advice to men to become more authentic, and to parents and potential parents for raising good men and boys.Ībout Robert Glover (quote from Wikipedia): During the conversation, Robert talks about his personal life, men and dating, the male need for the tribe, admirable and toxic masculine traits, positive emotional tension, his views on what makes men both attractive and repellent to women, and what's limiting male development in modern society. Today's episode of Keep Talking features author, therapist, coach, and educator Robert Glover. And most of us have some degree of it whenever we get defensive or hide anything about ourselves or seek approval, or don't risk anything, because we might fail or look foolish.” “Shame is the internalized belief that I'm defective and unlovable.
Episode 30, available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTubeĪll episodes on all platforms and social channels
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